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I  remember when i was young, we have this point and shoot camera with 110 film which looked like a long flat black block.  My dad bought it when he was working in Saudi Arabia. We were  five in the family, with three siblings.We  used to take pictures on special occasions like birthdays, graduations, christmas, fiestas but  never do i remember having a complete family picture. There would always be somebody missing, of course,the photographer, the one behind the camera. Back then, only professional photographers have camera stands and our camera had no self timer. If  I wasn’t in the picture, it would be my brother, Oliver. I don’t recall any picture of the whole family. I envy my relatives and friends who have their complete pictures framed on the wall. For me, family portraits are something to be treasured.

Time came my mom has to go abroad for work. And for more than 10 years, we only see her in pictures or  talk to her on the phone. Then, after 12 straight years, she’s able to come home for a vacation. Finally,I thought we can have our picture taken as one complete family with the addition of my husband, my sister-in-law and my nephew. We can have a complete family portrait mounted on the wall, the one that i dreamed of.

But I was wrong, on August 2008, the same month as my mom had her vacation, my dad passed away. I wasn’t there yet when it happened. I arrived on my dad’s burial. It was a strickenly  sad moment. Thoughts ran through my mind, how come i let those times passed by when we were younger without having those moments captured.How come we never gave the chance to catch those times which definitely won’t come back. How I regretted those moments.

After my father’s internment,my husband showed me the pictures he had taken. I thought my wishes will remain wishes, i thought my simple dreams will just stay as is but for the final moment, we have had a complete family picture, although this time, my father is in the casket.

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